Vincent Price in Twice-Told Tales (1963)
'Get up you son of a bitch! 'Cause Mickey loves you!'
OK Holy fuck. ROCKY V is SOOO good. Full disclaimer: this is the only Rocky movie I’d never seen before, because everybody said it was garbage. Well fuck everybody because they are idiots. Bringing back OG ROCKY director John G. Avildsen is a stroke of genius, as is having Elton John sing the amazing theme song ‘Measure Of A Man’. Gosh, it’s just so fucking good.
ROCKY V picks up after however long it takes to fly from Russia back to Philly, which must take like 4/5 years because thats how many years Rocky’s son Robert has seemed to age. Which is probably a good thing as Robert (played by Sly’s real son Sage Stallone) is like the crux of this film. When a new up and coming fighter named Tommy Gunn enters the scene Rocky takes him under his wing and shows him the ropes but alienates poor Robert in the process. So Robert gets in a street fight of his own after receiving some training from Paulie which is pretty significant you guys, because its gonna mirror the final fight of the movie. In an amazing bait and switch, Tommy Gunn leaves Rocky for the flamboyant promoter George Washington Duke so Rocky decides it’s in his best interests to beat the fuck out of Tommy Gunn in a street fight and teach the punk some damn manners. Which he does (obvs) and he does it with the help of the ghost of Mickey which fucking rules. Also, the Adrian speech in this movie made me cry. ROCKY V is one of the greats people, don’t believe the hype! Now excuse me while I go listen to Elton John over and over again.
'No one is as dumb as I appear to be.'
Starring the always underappreciated ‘madman of the movies’ Michael Moriarty as Mo Rutherford as well as your favourite and mine - Garrett Morris - as Chocolate Chip Charlie, THE STUFF tells the tale of what would ensue if everybody ate a delicious food that was actually a mind controlling and body warping alien parasite. Needless to say it doesn’t really end well for anybody, but I will add that seeing The Stuff on fire is really fucking neat.